The Shy Girl's Guide to (Maybe) Not Being So Shy Anymore
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
An attempt at self-portraiture
Exhibit A: Microdosing self-confidence
Okay, confession time: I'm shy. Like, really shy. The kind of shy that made any form of public speaking a terrifying ordeal and group activities a source of endless anxiety. In fact, I strategically chose my first job (and all my jobs up to this point) to be remote specifically to avoid, well, people. The irony is not lost on me that I'm now writing a blog, a very public platform for sharing my thoughts and experiences.
But why? Why subject myself to the potential judgment and scrutiny of the internet? (Not that I actually care…) Well, here's the thing: even the most introverted among us crave connection. We yearn for those deep, meaningful relationships that make life, well, less lonely.
The problem is, putting myself out there? Shudders. Initiating conversations? Internal screaming. Navigating social situations? Cue the existential dread.
For a long time, I let my shyness get the better of me. I avoided social gatherings, I shied away from new experiences, and I convinced myself that I was perfectly content in my own little bubble. But deep down, I knew I was missing out on something.
Then, something shifted. I realized that my shyness wasn't a life sentence, but something I could learn to overcome. It started with a simple decision: to do one new thing. That "one new thing" led to another, and another, and suddenly, I was exploring a whole new world of possibilities. I was trying yoga, (seriously, kind of) learning photography, dabbling in graphic design, and even attempting belly dancing and hip-hop (with mixed results, but hey, at least I tried!).
This journey of exploration wasn't just about acquiring new skills; it was about building self-confidence. Each new experience, each step outside my comfort zone, chipped away at the walls of my shyness. I started to realize that I was capable of more than I thought, that I could handle challenges, and that I could connect with people in a meaningful way.
And that's where the desire for genuine connection comes in. It's not about forcing myself to be someone I'm not, or attending every social event out of obligation. It's about seeking out those authentic connections that nourish my soul, the kind of relationships where I can be myself, a thousand hobbies and all.
But how does a shy girl go about finding those connections? It starts with self-confidence. When you feel good about yourself, when you believe in your own worth, it's easier to put yourself out there and connect with others.
Here are a few things that have helped me on my journey from shy girl to (slightly less) shy girl:
Microdosing Self-Confidence: Taking small, consistent steps outside my comfort zone has gradually built my confidence over time.
Mindful Intention: Approaching new experiences with intention and curiosity has helped me to connect with my inner self and to appreciate the journey.
Celebrating Small Victories: Acknowledging and celebrating every accomplishment, no matter how small, has reinforced my belief in myself.
Embracing Imperfection: Accepting that I'm not perfect and that it's okay to make mistakes has freed me from the fear of failure.
Cultivating Self-Compassion: Being kind and giving grace to myself (something I am still learning through therapy, but we can unpack that later), especially when I face challenges, has helped me to navigate social situations with more ease.
This journey is ongoing, and I still have moments of shyness and self-doubt. But I'm learning to embrace those moments as part of who I am, while also continuing to push myself beyond my comfort zone. Because ultimately, it's about finding that balance between honoring my introverted nature and embracing the joy of genuine connection.
And who knows, maybe along the way, I'll even learn to love small talk (okay, maybe not, but a girl can dream!).
What are the things that you do to increase your self-confidence?
